I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
