And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize