In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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