doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Green mimosas i think yes
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
