Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
