I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
