In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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