I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
