There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
