Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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