people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Send help, water and tortillas.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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