so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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