Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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