She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
