she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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