Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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