In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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