batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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