nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
