Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
