bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He did a backflip because drugs
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