She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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