filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The beer is more important than you right now.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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