The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize