a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
