Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
