Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize