ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
