Just took my morning after pill in the library
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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