Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
