and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
