I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
