Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
