Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
