come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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