So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
