You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
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Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
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We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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