I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
