I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
