hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize