Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
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i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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