I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
