I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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