Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
May the power of my ass compel you!!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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