I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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