there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
