Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
