they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
now i know why i became what i already was.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
