went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize