Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Mom said you looked used
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
