covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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