Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
