Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
