so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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