Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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