I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
