I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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