i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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