he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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