i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
